*smile*

Dec. 4th, 2006 10:58 am
kyanited: (OTP)
"...giving me that stare that women always get when they're saying something that doesn't make sense but you're supposed to understand it anyway."

["When Arguments End"]
kyanited: (sol_bianca)
"There is no point in forcing you to accept help, because
this kind of help will not be treasured and will be discarded
eventually. You have to be the one to want to be saved. You have
to be the one asking for help. You allowed yourself to be abused
because you think you do not deserve any better. The first step
in breaking free of your chains is to regain your dignity, your
sense of self-worth and the confidence in your own abilities and
capabilities."

[Someday...we will shine]
kyanited: (Default)
"You’re so afraid of being caught in something you don’t want, you don’t know when you should surrender."

eXposure - Must Read TV, ep. 17
kyanited: (Default)
18:47 » Φ «  Δ 
I went out to look at the city. Her city. Even when I had been standing there with him, with Ganossa, it had been her city, and we had been trying to take it from her.
I looked at the destruction the last battle had caused. Like ants they had immediately started to repair the damage. But the rain had stopped all activity, and the picture was the same morbid still life I was used to.
It's still her city. But she is not here, not with them. And I briefly wondered, if they were aware of what had befallen their guardian angel. What would they do if they knew what she had done?
She had traded her life, her soul, for mine. She gave herself to Nemesis to save a Lucifer Hawk. She turned her back on her city to save her own flesh and blood. They would hunt her, like they used to hunt us when we were children. The devil's children.
ro.che » Ξ «  ∇ 

kyanited: (rock)
17:08 » Φ «  Δ 
It's raining.
I miss standing on the rooftops, watching the city crouching under the dark clouds.
Chief Isozaki offered to stay with Rally for a moment so I may get some »fresh air«. I laughed. This planet hasn't seen any »fresh air« for decades. Earth's atmosphere is barely breathable, highly polluted and contaminated. But as long as there is some oxygen in the mix, it serves the purpose and people are still out on the streets. Until it rains.
The rain is washing the dirt from the air, coming down as deadly acid, chasing the humans into their shelters, washing from the streets a different kind of dirt.

Rally and I, we're children of Nemesis. Earth's rain does not harm us. The skin tingles on contact, we're half human, too, but there's no damage.

I always enjoyed looking down at the empty city. A calm joy, without excitement. No hurry, no haste, no hustle. A whole city impeded by a drizzle. No Lucifer Hawk attack has ever had this effect.

ro.che » Ξ «  ∇ 

kyanited: (rock)
00:23 » Φ «  Δ 
I have no home.

Mana offered to take me with her, but I declined. I don't think I could stand it. And I don't want to leave Rally. Not as long as she is.... like this.

Mana insisted that I get some sleep. I reminded her politely of what I am. I don't need sleep. I need to be here, with Rally. I won't leave her, I won't lose her again.

Mana still insisted that I need to take care of myself. Rally will need me when she wakes up.

At last, Chief Isozaki had a second bed brought into Rally's room. She never gives up. When I had been fighting her, I found that to be an annoying trait. Sometimes amusing, sometimes pathetic, when she tried to protect Rally's life, ready to give her own. Now her persistence is not any less annoying. But I am thankful. I know, ultimately it's Rally she cares about. But for now I can ignore that. I am tired. Tired from watching Rally, and tired of guarding myself. Ever since I left her, I had been watching her, and ever since I joined the Lucifer Hawk, I had to guard myself against everyone around me.

There is no friendship among the Lucifer Hawk, only loyality to power. And when you let your guard down, you'll be overpowered.

Finally, I can get some rest. Ironic that it's in the presence of those who had been my worst enemies only a short time ago.

But with Mana, I feel safe. I could always trust her. She is a reliable opponent. I have known her for years. She is honest. She has no secret agenda. If I had to fear her now, I would know.
ro.che » Ξ «  ∇ 

kyanited: (Default)
03:37 » Φ «  Δ 
/ Chief.
/ Rosa.
/ Are you checking on me or on her?
/ Both, I think. - Any change?
/ No, she is still sleeping.
/ Rosa. You, of all people, know that she is not sleeping.
/ It's not a coma.
A sigh.
/ It's a healing dreamscape.
/ I know, Rosa. We created it. Still, it doesn't mean...
/ No, she will wake up! She will come back! ... she wants to.
A gasp.
/ Rosa - ! You did not... ?
/ I had to. There were things that needed to be said.
/ But Rosa! The risk! You could have -
/ - been trapped there, yes. But I had to make sure she knows.
/ Rosa, don't you know? You are the only one she would come back for. You are the anchor. If she came back only to find you a mindless shell... - it would destroy her.

So, that's the truth. They take care of me because they think I am the key to her return.
I tried to hurt her, for so long. And they protected her, from me, from her real family. But am I real, when it was them who stood by her side? Aren't they her family, her real family, shouldn't she come back for them?
She forgave me, every single time, but they could not.
In that dreamscape... She was so beautiful, so strong. Her smile... like an angel...
I don't blame them.
I cannot forgive myself.
ro.che » Ξ «  ∇ 

kyanited: (Default)
20:15 » Φ «  Δ 
She is still sleeping.
ro.che » Ξ «  ∇ 

kyanited: (sol_bianca)
"Perhaps the pain is a way of making you remember? Perhaps you really do not wish to forget, or perhaps the person who caused this wishes you to not forget."

http://ralst.com/Transference.HTM
kyanited: (Kanna)
Fandom: Shoujo Kakumei Utena
Author: KyaniteD
Title: Damn you
Pairing: Juri/Anthy, (Juri/Utena/Anthy)
Category: Challenge Fic (30 Kisses, #4 - Our distance and that person)
Rating: PG-13 (Fiction Rating: T)
Note: Draft.

Damn you, Tenjou. )
kyanited: (rock)
Fandom: Shoujo Kakumei Utena
Author: KyaniteD
Title: Red Kiss
Pairing: Juri/Anthy
Category: Challenge Fic (30 Kisses, #19 - Red)
Rating: PG-13 (Fiction Rating: T)
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] lishesque

For the first time, it was winter at Ohtori Academy )
kyanited: (sol_bianca)
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Author: KyaniteD
Title: Something
Pairing: T/7, J/BQ
Rating: PG-13 (Fiction Rating: T)
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] lishesque

She's the mirror that lets me look behind whatever is blocking my view. )

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